They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
Your dad touched me again.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Randomize
