You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
Drunk is a universal language darling
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
Randomize
