They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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