To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
Randomize
