we have pet lesbian snakes
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
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