What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
