Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Randomize
