I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
