Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize
