i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
Randomize
