I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Randomize
