I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
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