i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Randomize
