I bet he comes in French.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Rumble strips road head = magical
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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