Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
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