Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Randomize
