I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
Randomize
