Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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