Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
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