i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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