i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
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