it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Randomize
