Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
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