she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
how does that bad decision feel?
Randomize
