Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
Randomize
