Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
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