It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
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