I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
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I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
You made out with two different species that night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
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