Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
Just high enough for therapy.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
Randomize
