Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
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