so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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