now i know why i became what i already was.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize
