I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
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