You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Randomize
