But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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