The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
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