That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
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