Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
