The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
Randomize
