you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
