North Korea, Best Korea!
i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
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