are you so shy because you have an std?
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
