The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
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