First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
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