but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
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