Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Randomize
