Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Randomize
