God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
oh god was she eating orange peels again
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
Randomize
