Where are you?
In a non slutty way
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize