Your tits are I can't wait for
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Randomize
