If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
