Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
Randomize
