another moral hangover. fuck.
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
