what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
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