Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
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