PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
stop calling my apartment porn island.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
