Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
My liver just had a heart attack.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Randomize
