I feel like I'm in dance class right now
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
