So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Randomize
