Having a random hookup so left but love u
There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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