hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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