pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
