He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
