Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
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