Someone shit on the floor
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
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